This weekend we were presented with a perfect opportunity to go back to Cincinnati- the wedding of two of our oldest friends. It was a beautiful wedding filled with everything that makes Cincinnati home to us. B & C were married in the church I grew up in and then held their reception at Great American Ballpark (where the Reds play) down in the heart of Cincy. Our families also share a lot of mutual friends so the night was like a mini-reunion - from friends I haven't seen since high school to people we haven't seen since our own wedding. Add in some late night coneys, a beautiful view of the city, and some weekend date night fun, and all of sudden I'm not ready to leave.
The night was perfect. But it also triggered in me that nagging homesick feeling that I generally try to repress. If you've been reading a while, you know that we are very close with our families and we LOVE everything about our hometown. And while I'm thrilled to have to opportunity to pursue my education and start a life in a new city, I can't help but be reminded of everything I'm leaving behind.
I miss seeing my mom and getting daily hugs from her. I miss seeing my grandpa, my aunt, and other extended family on a regular basis. I regret that the friendships we've left behind are cultivated mostly via social media and the occasional visit home. Most of all, I hate the guilty feeling I get for neglecting the books or other responsibilities in favor of having a little fun with family and friends (and vice versa).
I miss the familiarity of my hometown that has become such a huge part of my identity in the past 24 years. To be able to run errands without looking up directions in my phone or to be able to drive the 5 minutes down the street to my favorite Panera and Kroger. To run miles and miles on familiar streets without the possibility of getting lost.
We haven't quite developed a level of spontaneity and comfort in our new city (part of which, I'm sure, is due to the fact that we don't have the opportunity to explore much). Don't get me wrong - we are very happy to be here. But I think N & I both still feel very much like visitors.
Our goal right now is to do our best to move back to Cincinnati in the next few years. Sadly, I know the likelihood of this happening soon is very, very slim due to my career aspirations. Residency will likely take us elsewhere (unless I am fortunate enough to match in Ohio) but no matter how long it takes, I think we aspire to raise our family within the 275 loop :)
I'm not sure if Indianapolis will ever truly feel like "home" to me. My heart is still in Ohio.
How do you deal with being homesick?