Those moments are rare for me but I was blessed to experience a little calm before the storm this weekend. A small stitch in time before my life once again becomes a whirlwind of classes, exams, worrying & planning, and dealing with whatever else life throws at me.
Most of the summer I found myself dreading the moment when I would finally have to go back to school. Usually I am so ready for the summer to end - I love school (or I wouldn't subject myself to more than 20 years of formal schooling); I love back-to-school shopping, fresh, unadulterated notebooks, and the excitement of seeing friends. Most of all, I really value the opportunity to learn and pursue an education (something many people take for granted).
The little black cloud of dread comes from the constant reminder that this year is SUPER important for our class. Board prep will start before we know it and soon we will be working harder than ever. Throw in a fledgling marriage, a new apartment, and changing social surroundings - it's a lot of new stuff! I'm worried that I've forgotten everything over the summer or that my brain won't remember how to learn. I'm worried Nick will feel neglected when much of my time is spent locked away in our second bedroom or when I can't lounge around with him and watch our obligatory post-dinner Netflix episodes every night.
In spite of all these worries, I finally started to calm down in the past few days - maybe it's the finally stage of grief (acceptance) or maybe I'm actually excited to get started again. Regardless, it's time to tackle my second year of medical school.
Let's do this!